Scientists Eric Betzig and William Moerner of the United States and Stefan Hell of Germany won the Nobel Prize in chemistry on Wednesday for developing new methods in optical microscopy.

The Palins haven’t commented on the report.

The federal government has come together with several environmental groups to enact a five year plan, which will rebuild the Buckley Dam in an attempt to help save both the steelhead and Chinook salmon.

Three physicists were awarded the 2014 Nobel Prize in Physics by developing low-cost, solar-powered LED lights that could greatly reduce electricity usage.

The state of Wyoming, in hopes of keeping populations under control, is openly resisting the federal government’s decision to make the gray wolf an endangered species.

The spot-tailed earless lizard (Holbrookia lacerata) is in the slow process of becoming endangered, which may entitle the species to some very expensive protection.

The Office of Naval Research recently rolled out a series of unmanned patrol boats that can approach potential enemy ships without putting sailors’ lives in danger.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” Biden then said, “Best decision I ever made. That was a joke.”