The old saying is true: Some birds just can not hold their liquor.  The researchers at Oregon Health and Science University decided that alcohol was “for the birds,” and found that the effects of alcohol on speech is no respecter of species.

A PLos One study included  zebra finches, white grape juice and ethanol.  One group of well-behaved zebra finches received plain white grape juice and the the second group of zebra finches, better known as, the “party animals,” received a white grape juice and ethanol mixture.

Christopher Olson and his colleagues mixed 6 percent ethanol with a small amount of juice.  In an interview with Arun Rath, he said,  “At first we were thinking that they wouldn’t drink on their own because, you know, a lot of animals just won’t touch the stuff. But they seem to tolerate it pretty well and be somewhat willing to consume it.”  The blood levels in the tipsy finches only reached .05 to .08 percent, but that was high enough because birds do not digest alcohol in the way that humans do.

It is probably not a shocker that group A, the finches that only drank white grape juice, sang as prettily as always.  The “tipsy tweeters,” however, experienced a bit of trouble. The intoxicated birds could not sing as loudly,  which was to their benefit, because the drunken finches could not seem to remember the pattern of the melody.

Upon hearing the song of finch A and finch B, it is hard to hear the differences between the two in real-time but once the songs are played slowly, it is easier to here the change in volume, as well as clarity.  The equivalent would be a slurring roommate calling for a ride home from the bar.

Luckily for these chicks, alcohol does not affect them in the all the many ways it affects humans.  The birds were able to perch, perfectly postured and fly around their cages without flipping over. The animals did not exhibit drooping wings, sluggishness or the inability to keep their eyes open.

Thankfully, this experiment was not a mad scientist’s cry for help. Zebra finches are often the subject of study when it comes to human vocal learning. Scientists have found that humans  and zebra finches learn their native languages the same way. While humans learn from their parents, zebra finches learn from their fathers. (The male birds are the only ones who warble.) Olson and his team decided that if alcohol affects human speech, it could possibly affect the finches’ speech as well.

This study has given the world of science a better understanding of the origin of human speech, as it pertains to the complexity of remembering how to use it when under the influence.  This research was able to successfully find and monitor the parts of the brain that are disrupted when the host is inebriated.

The next step for this study is learning the affects alcohol has on a young mind’s ability to learn.  Christopher Olson will conduct an experiment that gauges the zebra finches ability to learn a new song while intoxicated. So on the off chance that a zebra finch is slurring near by, take a page from Jamie Foxx’s book and “Blame it on the alcohol.”