Holly Madison, a former Playboy bunny, is about to release a tell-all memoir that reveals what life was really like inside Hugh Hefner’s famous Playboy Mansion.

Madison, who lived in the controversial mansion with Hefner and his six other girlfriends between 2001 and 2008, has called her new book Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny. The book promises to expose the dark, unglamorous consequences that Madison faced while living in Hefner’s domain.

“Life inside the notorious mansion wasn’t a dream at all – and quickly became her nightmare,” said a promotional statement released by the book’s publisher Harper Collins. “After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.”

Madison was first invited to the Playboy Mansion in 2000, after appearing in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic beauty pageant and working for the restaurant chain Hooters. The next year, Madison, who was a student at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, moved into the Playboy Mansion, and became Hefner’s “#1 Girl” in 2002.

Madison publically expressed her dismay that Hefner would never marry her or want to start a family on the E! reality television show, The Girls of the Playboy Mansion. She broke up with Hefner in 2008, but continued to work as a photo editor for Playboy magazine until February 2009.

Now, the 35-year-old Madison is married to millionaire Pasquale Rotella. The couple have a 2-year-old daughter named Rainbow.