While many celebrity marriages have a high failure rate, some couples in Hollywood defy the odds. One of those couples is Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale.

The two have been married for 13 years after dating for six years. Often asked how she and Rossdale keep their marriage alive, she admitted in a recent interview for Cosmopolitan that there has to be a balance.

“[Gavin is] on a short tour right now, and he wrote me the sweetest note this morning,” Stefani said. “It’s good to have those days when we both do our own things. I think that’s what keeps relationships going, when both people can be themselves and have their own individuality.”

Rossdale is busy as the lead singer and guitarist of rock band Bush, while Stefani has her own musical career.

Though Stefani thinks balance is key to any successful relationship, she also admits that Rossdale’s attractiveness keeps her interested.

“I never really saw myself landing a guy that hot,” she said. “I don’t know if I was a nerd in high school, but I definitely wasn’t the super-cute cheerleader so I never saw myself getting somebody like that. But I do think he’s quite handsome. It’s not the most important thing about him, but it is nice…and he makes really cute babies!”

The two have three children together, ranging in age from 11 months to eight years old.