Vanessa Collier, a 33-year-old lesbian woman from Thornton, Colorado, died Dec. 29, when her gun went off while cleaning it. Her funeral was scheduled for Jan. 10 at New Hope Ministries in Lakewood, Col., near Denver. Fifteen minutes before the service was to begin Pastor Ray Chavez notified the family that the funeral could not be held in the church unless photos of Collier kissing her wife were removed from the memorial video to be played during the service.

Family members said that the casket was open and flowers laid out. After a one-hour visitation there were already over a hundred people sitting in pews waiting for the service to begin when Chavez informed the family that the funeral would not be able to proceed because of the “inappropriate” video they wanted displayed. Chavez told them that if they removed the photos of Collier proposing to her wife and kissing her on the lips, the funeral could proceed, saying that they did not agree with her alternative lifestyle. He sad there could be no indication that the deceased woman was gay.

The family declined to “edit her life,” according to Jose Silva, a friend of Collier’s. He said that at 10:15 the pastor announced that “due to technical difficulties” the funeral was being moved.

The outraged family moved the service to Newcomer Funeral Home, located across the street from the church. The casket containing Collier’s body was closed and moved by hearse. Flowers, photos and programs were carried by the family.

Collier’s cousin Jessica Maestas said that New Hope Ministries was aware that the service they were being asked to perform was for a lesbian woman, and that they were told there would be a video played at the service. Chaplain Gary Rolando, a friend of Collier’s father who eventually conducted the funeral and interment service, said the church misplaced the video that the family had given them the day before the service so they could preview it. They asked for another copy, and should have realized there was content involving kissing when they watched it.

Rolando was called about 10 minutes before the service was scheduled. The funeral home, which seated only about 60, was cramped and standing-room-only with nearly 200 people in attendance.

New Hope Ministries and Pastor Chavez have refused to comment on the incident. According to Rolando the church passed the $400 fee that the family had paid for the service to the funeral home. Rolando says that New Hope is very sorry, and that it is sad that things happened the way they did.

One churchgoer, Anita Luna, said that she sees no reason for Chavez to apologize, because he stood for what he believes in. Silva disagrees, saying that the church did not allow dignity in death for one of God’s children, something everyone deserves regardless of race or sexual orientation. Silva joined about 50 supporters in a protest outside the church on Tuesday. Security guards stationed in front of the building ensured none of the protesters entered the property.

Collier leaves behind her partner of three years, Christina Higley, and two daughters.