Chuck Shumer is a Hero

Chuck Shumer is a Hero

We've got so many laws and ordinances on the books in our country it's almost impossible NOT to break a few. So some people want to live here and don't keep up with their paperwork. So what? And why is 'illegal' inherently a bad thing?

Two days into a government shutdown, and it’s clear to me that the whole notion of a shutdown is nothing but a haggling ploy.  While Republicans blame Democrats for being unwilling to drop the whole DACA thing, Democrats blame Republicans for being unwilling to negotiate on the whole DACA thing.

Apparently, DACA is quite the thing.

But one point I keep hearing on the Dreamers as well as other groups of immigrants, is this idea of illegal immigrants.  The GOP seems to like throwing that word around.

Firstly, what gives us the right to tell someone “no, you can’t live here?”  Is this our land that God cannot take it from us?  It seems kinda arrogant to me to be so selective in who is allowed to come here, especially in light of the fact that the United States was built by and for immigrants.  People generally don’t want to uproot their lives and go somewhere else if they’re fine where they are, and so the idea of only taking in immigrants from wealthy countries is silly.  And, it’s hypocritical.  Give us your tired, your poor, your hungry, huddled masses, yearning to breathe free as long as they’re white and not from some shithole country.

For those who’ve never gone through the process, immigration to the US, if you’re coming from a shithole country, is an arduous affair at best, often requiring years and years of vetting.  Meanwhile hunger doesn’t wait for years, and neither does gang violence or war.  For a lot of people coming here illegally, it’s a matter of life and death, else they would do it legally.  But for most illegal immigrants, they came here legally, and then fell behind on their paperwork.

As for the claims of our fearmongering president, not one single terrorist attack has been committed on US soil by someone who was here illegally.  Zero.  In that same time frame, we’ve had numerous terrorist attacks committed by US citizens, and a small handful by legal immigrants.  So then what are we so afraid of?

Yet Mitch McConnell wants us all to pay attention to this whole illegal immigrant thing as though it’s this major threat.  Because people who break the law are inherently bad, apparently.

That includes people who drive 56+ on the expressway.  You’re illegal.

Sharing your Netflix password?  Federal crime.

Throwing out the previous tenant’s junk mail?  Go to prison.

Ever play poker or smoke weed?  Criminal.

Didn’t wait until your twenty-first to have that drink?

Ever allowed a minor to use a Sharpie?

Ever stretched the truth just a teensy bit on your taxes?

Downloaded content you shoulda paid for?  Pirate.

Use a fake name on the internet?  Fraud.

Connected to a Wi-fi without explicit permission?

Took too long to update all your personal documents with your new address?

YOU are a criminal.  YOU are illegal.  That’s not counting the myriad of city, state, and local ordinances out there like walking on the grass, jaywalking, watering your lawn on the wrong day, etc etc.  We’ve got so many laws in this country it’s impossible not to break a few.  And let us not forget that until recently, it was illegal for black people to vote, speak to a white woman, or use the wrong drinking fountain.  So someone came to our country and didn’t keep up on their paperwork?  So what?  Why are we breaking families apart over garbage like this?

Jesus taught that the law was made for humanity, not the other way around.  I guess the party that trumpets its Christian values didn’t read that part of the Bible.


Michael Patrick Lewis is a teacher, criminal, and bestselling author of Edge Of God, and Preferred Rewards.  You can also find him on Twitter @fakeMikeLewis.

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